In this episode of the Journey Coaching Podcast, Beza, Sarah and Terry discuss what it took for Beza to handle the stress of not only being an international student, but also upending her life as she knew it and adjusting to an entirely new culture.

A truly inspiring story of a young woman who bravely carried the weight of immense change, culture shock and racism along with all of life’s daily stressors and managed to find growth and love in the process.

Beza: I think the one thing I didn’t do well, the first few months was like, I suppressed everything. I was feeling, even my brother’s friend would come and he was “like, you used to be so nice the first few months you were here”, I just pretended that I was just really happy.

But I think it’s good to tell people how you’re feeling and express, yes I’m feeling a culture shock. I’m feeling like I don’t belong.

Terry: Welcome back to the Journey Coaching podcast, where we care deeply about real and authentic relationships. This is Terry, your host, and I have sitting with me today, a couple of really important people in my life. I have, Beza, who is my adopted granddaughter and my own daughter, Sarah.

Say hello, both of you

I’m excited about this conversation. We wanted to kind of cover the topic of stress, and I wanted someone who was from a younger generation to kind of come in and talk about stress. Cause there’s different types of stress in the different types of generations. And I was really hoping, Beza, that you would talk a little bit about the stresses that you’ve dealt with in your life, especially in relationships.

Because I know that relationships can be a source of stress as much as they can be a way to cope with stress in healthy  relationships.

What I’d like to do is I’d like to go back to maybe one of the big stressors that you had. You actually came over here from Ethiopia when you were 16. You and your younger brother got on the plane all by yourselves.

I know that you also had to go to the embassy over there and get permission to come over and get your visas and all that stuff. And that was not an easy process. That was probably a huge source of stress. 

Beza: Definitely. 

Terry: Anything that you want to talk about specifically?

What were some of the stressors you had in that whole process? 

Beza: Well, it started, so, okay. So you mentioned how we had to go to the embassy three times. That was one of the biggest ones I think is just the fact that there’s a person deciding your fate, and they have this power to say, yes, you can get an education 

Terry: abroad.

That was one of your main reasons to come over here, is you really wanted to have an education here. 

Beza: Definitely. 

The education and also the living situation at home wasn’t that great either. So, um, Yeah. The biggest stress was trying to get my visa and my brother’s visa at the same time.

Cause they kept telling us it was, seemed like an adoption. The third time we got it. Thank God. 

Terry: Yeah, because each time they would say no. They denied it. And then you’d have to go back and redo the paperwork and try to answer the problems that they didn’t think were solved. 

Beza: Yes. Yes. And it was really like stressful because you had to be dressed a certain way so they know that you’re serious about it. Cause if you wore the certain clothes, then you wouldn’t get accepted. It was just very overwhelming, but we passed through it.

Another thing that really stressed me out was leaving my family behind, and my friends. 

Terry: Yeah. 

Beza: I remember, I was telling Sarah the other day, how I didn’t tell my best friend and I was going until the day I got my visa. Because her and I have like a really strong relationship, and I really did not want to leave her. And when we got denied so many times, I just didn’t want to tell her that I was coming and then.

Terry: Did she know you were trying to go?

Beza: She didn’t. 

Terry: So it was a total surprise to your best friend? 

Beza: Yes. 

Terry: Oh my gosh. 

Beza: She bawled when I told her. I feel bad, but it’s just, it was really hard for me because she was going through some things in her life at the time. And like she said that I was the only person she had. Saying that I’m leaving you at your worst time really was really hard for me. And I did not know how to tell her. Even the day I told her, I remember I was like crying. I was like, sorry. 

Terry: You came right after the visa, within a week or something?

So she didn’t have a long time to get used to it. You didn’t have a long time to get used to the idea.

Beza:  No, and we didn’t even finish the whole summer together. I didn’t get to spend the whole summer with her because of the whole cultural thing, you know, that’s another topic. 

Sarah: Let me jump in here and explain, like, we’re talking about stress.

Like the stress that this young lady has dealt with is the fact that when she, when Beza mentioned that these people have your future in their hands, they really, really do. She and Nathan did not know where they were going to be, what country and what family they were going to be in.

Terry: They had met you. They had met you. 

Sarah: Yes, because of my travels to Ethiopia, they had met me and they had met Matt, my husband, but they didn’t know. And it was all up to whether the embassy said yes or no. And they said no. And then they said no, and we were going to try one more time. We really didn’t know if it was going to work or not.

It was a matter of, school was getting ready to start. And they were coming here on student visas and, was it a yes? Was it a no? And if it was a yes, they had to pack up and leave because school was starting. 

They landed in Cedar Rapids in the middle of, your plane got delayed because of tornadoes.

Beza: That was another thing, the tornado.

Terry: Well the flight alone all by yourself. 

Sarah: They’d never flown before.

Terry: And your brother is four years younger than you. So you were 16. He was 12. 

Beza: Yes. 

Sarah: And they just pack up, they get the yes at the embassy and within days they’re on a plane.

Terry: Saying goodbye to all your family.

Beza: And you know what’s funny, is we almost missed our flight. Oh no. I think it was like, God, because we met this guy and we were in line, there was this long line at the airport. And so my dad took us to this one point and then he couldn’t pass. So I’ve never been in the, at the airport ever. So it was just me and him.

We had like our luggage and we were standing in line and this guy turns around and starts talking to us. And he’s like, where are you guys going? And we’re like, well, we’re going to the United States. 

And he was like, really? Is this your first time? 

And we’re like, yeah, we’ve never gone anywhere. Like you’ve never flew.

Sarah: You guys were never even out of Addis Ababa. 

Beza: No!

And he was like really? Wow. 

I didn’t know where the gate was. And I was like, do you know where this is? 

And he was like, well, it’s over there. You have to hurry. Cause you’re gonna miss it. 

And we just ran.

Terry: That was fortunate, to have guy show you where to go. 

Beza: I don’t think we would’ve made it if he wasn’t. So like now that I think about it. Yeah. 

Sarah: And I do have to mention a couple things to people listening to this podcast are going to be super confused, because we introduced you as my adopted daughter, and then you’ve mentioned some other things. So just to clarify, Beza is my adopted daughter.

What ended up happening is that, the United States government did make it possible that as an adult, she could legally be adopted. So we actually adopted her, even though she’s been in our home for four years. Has it been four years now? 

Beza: Yes. 

Sarah: Three and a half. Yeah. This summer, as an adult, she was able to be adopted. Which doesn’t affect her citizen status, but it does make it so that she’s legally our child.

Terry: She’s been a part of your family for a long time.

Well, and that’s another thing I wanted to, you know, you came over here and there’s a lot of stress and all of that. And you get plunked down in the middle of the Midwest, Iowa.

You’ve got, you’ve got this whole new family, right? Not only did you come over to a new to new family to kind of be with, while you’re doing your student visa, but you now have four brothers and sisters you didn’t have before. What was that like, stress wise? 

Beza: Wow. Okay. The corn. That was just another, I was not expecting that.

I had this picture of the United States in my head, you know, like the pictures they show in the movies. Like the city. I’ve never seen the countryside in the movies. Like, yeah. And then I was like, wait, where are we? 

Yeah, we came home. I remember the first place we went was Culver’s.

It was nice. Everyone was really nice. Like I never felt out of place until like, okay, so a few weeks in.

Sarah: Your stomach hurt? 

Beza: Yes. And I started just getting.

Terry: Just getting used to different foods would affect your stomach. 

Beza: I think I was eating like Lays chips and grapes for like two months.

That was the only thing. And Ginger Ale.

Sarah: The girls and I are going to Ethiopia. My two biological daughters and Beza and I are getting ready to take our first trip back home.

And one thing that we have mentioned is, you’re going to have to be careful because your stomach adjusted to US foods. And now we’re only going to be in the country for 10 days and our stomachs are probably going to hurt again going the other way. 

Beza: I hope that doesn’t happen. I’m praying that doesn’t happen because I need to eat!

Terry: Well, you will have to watch it because you know, your stomach’s not used to the water.

Sarah: So she’s only going to drink bottled water that for this trip, just to make sure. 

Beza: We gotta take some Ginger Ale.

Terry: Well, and just getting used to a whole new set of relationships, and all of the new siblings are younger than you. 

Beza: Especially sisters, like I’ve never, I’m not used to having sisters. 

Sarah: There’s a lot of stress around that.

Beza: Oh my gosh. 

Cause I don’t think, I didn’t have any problems with Joey and John. At all. 

Terry: No, you are used to having a brother. 

Beza: Yeah. 

Cause it was like, plus they’re really quiet too. But you know how Abby is. And she was also going through her own little, like stressful time because it was hard for her too.

It was a big adjustment. And I understand.

Sarah: We anticipated Joey, because Joey was the oldest biological, his role changed with that. What we did not realize, and I didn’t realize this until a year ago when. Abby was finally able to verbalize it, was that she was the oldest daughter.

She was the oldest female child. And then that role was intercepted. 

Terry: And then she became the middle child, which is a whole different role. And then there was the little one, Becca who had never left her side. 

Beza: Becca was my, literally like my stress reliever. I’m not even kidding. Like she would just come hug me all the time, and it would just feel like home.

Where I’m from, we’re so affectionate. You’re always hugging someone and kissing someone. And like, Becca was always like that person. She would come and hug me and always be by my side. Yeah. 

Terry: So that helps you feel like you were at home.

Beza: Definitely, that was a big part.

Terry: You had said something to me earlier about the stress that you felt, there was a shock to your system.

When you got here, you said you, I think you said you were crying some in your room, you just kind of shut yourself into the room and this was a big adjustment for you. Um, how did you get out? How did you deal with that stress? 

Beza: That was tough. Well, at first it was like, I had to call home like every chance I got. I would just say up and call them. Hearing their voice, it just took so much off my chest. Like it was such a reliever. 

Terry: It’s not an easy thing because they’re on a totally different time. 

Beza: No. So I had to literally wait until like 12:00 AM or before school, you know, just wait until they’re up. 

Terry: Because you’re getting up about the time they’re going to bed.

Beza: Yes. 

Terry: And so you had to catch them at that time. 

Beza: Yeah. It’s frustrating, still till today. It’s really frustrating trying to contact them. Cause you know, they have work. I’m tired all the time. Like I don’t want to, I can’t stay up that late or that early, but yeah. Talking to them was really, really therapeutic.

And at the same time I started seeing Susan.

Terry: You started seeing a therapist.

Beza: A therapist, I’m sorry.

Sarah: A counselor. I do want to mention that to anyone listening, who is an adoptive parent, I knew she was struggling, which is why I suggested and pushed you in that, because you weren’t used to that. That wasn’t cultural for where you came from.

And I pushed that on you, but I also made sure that you had access to Redtel and Viber credits and stuff. And this is one thing I’m pretty passionate about is I feel like I did not take you away from any biological, cause you had aunts and uncles and a biological father, they’re still at home, that I was not pulling you away from that.

That it was definitely like how a marriage is. You’re blending two families and that’s okay. Bezas aunts are my kids aunts now. We’re going to meet, like Abby and Becca are going to meet them. And it was important for you to talk to those people. And I made sure that you had access to that. 

Beza: I am so grateful for that because I have met so many people that are adopted and their parents are really, really like, okay with,

Sarah: Cut them off. 

Yes. 

Beza: I don’t like that. And like, even with their cultures, not even just with their parents, it’s like, they’re not willing to let their child be a part of their culture, and I’ve seen the toll it took on that person. And it’s yeah. I love you for that. I don’t think I would have survived if that wasn’t available.

Terry: Well, one thing that really touched me when you guys first came is, I found out, and I don’t know if I heard it from you or your brother or I heard it from Sarah, but you guys had called us at least once, your bonus grandparents. I loved that! I thought that was so cool.

It’s like, okay. Yeah. You have grandparents that, you know, you have your own, you have another set of parents, grandparents, all that. Now your mom had passed away when you were young.

You were 12? 

Beza: Yes, I think Nati was eight. I was 12. Yes.

Terry: And you’ve got a picture of your original family. Your dad, your mom, you and your brother on the piano at your house, Sarah, and that’s just such a cool thing that you’re incorporating those things together. 

Beza: It really helped  because I think if the situation was different and they just tried to just have us just blend in with them. Don’t think about your country. You’re not allowed to talk to your family.

Like if that was the case I think I would be depressed. Like I don’t think I would’ve been doing well at school. I don’t think I would have had a relationship with my siblings or with them, like with my parents. It’s really like the most vital thing, I think it’s really important.

Terry: Still talking about the topic of stress here, you had a lot of stress that first year of school here. You came here, if I understand, right, you were going to be a senior in high school, you came here and you ended up as a junior.

Beza: Again.

Sarah: We made that decision because Beza and Nathan went to private school in Ethiopia, which is why her English is so amazing.

Well, not only that, because she watched the Disney channel and then imitated  the accents.

Terry: Nobody listening is going to really think you came from Ethiopia.

Beza: I’m from Africa. 

Sarah: She went to private schooling in Ethiopia. And she comes from very intelligent biological parents. And Beza and Nathan are incredibly intelligent. And so they had put her a year ahead in school. And so in order for me to have an extra year with her, I was like, well, can we put you back?

Then you don’t have to push so hard. Cause then she wouldn’t have to come to the United States her senior year. So junior year was, she could deal with the culture shock and deal with it. And then she entered her senior year much more prepared and enjoying it a lot more. 

Beza: I don’t think I would have done it if I didn’t come junior year.

Terry: Even then, having that junior year, you’d think all that’s a breeze. Cause I already done this, but it wasn’t so much a breeze. What was this biggest stressors you notice then? 

Beza: It was like the school was so different. So the way I was taught in Ethiopia like the school, the education system is completely different than it was here.

I remember coming here and I would get loads and loads of homework that I was never used to, and it was due the next day. And I’m like, how am I supposed to do this? Like how? And I would just freak out. But then I would have help from Matt, especially with my math work. And then I remember you used to come to class with me.

Sarah: I came to class with you? 

Beza: Yes. You came to my, I think it was my literature class. You sat with me, everyone was looking like, what are they doing? Like what. 

I was like crying. Cause I was like, I don’t know what I’m like. It was, I just felt like I don’t even know how to explain the way I was feeling.

Sarah: Are you sure I actually came with you and sat?

Beza: I’m sure. 

Sarah: I really don’t remember that.

Beza: Because I was freaking out. I probably begged you to come with me because I just did not like being in that class, like everyone was staring at me. Nobody was trying to like, get to know me was just like, oh, that is the new girl she’s from Africa.

Terry: What was helpful for Sarah to be, that that helped you deal with the stress of this new class and everything? 

Beza: I just felt like I had nobody and I just wanted her to be there every, like every moment of the day. I’m like, can you please come to class with me? And I remember she stayed with me through one of my classes.

She talked to the teachers to help me out and they were, they were willing, like they helped me, like they would sit down with me.

Sarah: There are stresses that we’re not even realizing here. I’m the fact that you guys were not minorities in Ethiopia, and then you come here and you’re minorities and the questions you guys would get were asinine. I mean, you guys, racism does still exist and it’s avert racism, but I’m just like, did you live in a hut? That kind of question.

Beza: Every time, I get it, yeah.

Terry: Was it a joke or was that a serious question?

Beza: Most of it was serious. I had a, one of, I’m not gonna mention what type of teacher she is, but, um, I had a teacher that expected me to know the national Anthem of South Africa.

Don’t, you know, this, you’re supposed to know this. And I was like, no, it’s the South African national anthem. She goes. Isn’t that the African national Anthem? And me and the other girl next to me, she’s from South Africa, we looked at each other and we’re like, what?

Sarah: They’re completely different countries.

Beza: There’s no African national Anthem. She thought there was like one general anthem.

Sarah: People don’t realize that South Africa is a country.

Terry: That’s like expecting students here to know the Canadian or South America. 

Beza: I know it doesn’t make any sense. I’m just like, okay?

Terry: So there’s a lot of misunderstandings and maybe just a lot of not knowing.

Beza: Definitely.

Sarah: Just imagine that you’ve never been in a society where there is much of a difference in skin color. Now that Ethiopia has more of a relationship with other countries, it’s getting a little more diverse, but just imagine that all of a sudden you are where you’re a minority where you weren’t in a minority and you didn’t grow up in that.

So you don’t, it’s a shock then to your system, because it’s not something that you became used to when you were. I mean, even now that Nathan’s driving, I have to mention like, be careful, like if you ever get pulled over.

Terry: You have to give him the talk 

Sarah: And he would never have even thought that because it’s not a society that he was raised in.

Young people are  taught that in our society and it’s something to watch out for, and they just didn’t have to do it. So it was more of a shock. 

Terry: Okay. So we’ve talked about a lot of the different stressors that you’ve had, and you’ve mentioned some of the ways that you’ve coped. Let’s, let’s move this onto, let’s say somebody is sitting here and they’re in this situation that you were in four years ago. Wow. What would you suggest? How would you encourage them? 

Beza: I think I would say the first thing is like expressing their feelings. I think the one thing I didn’t do well, the first I think about like the first few months was like, I suppressed everything.

I was feeling, even my brother’s friend would come. And he was like, you used to be so nice the first few months you were here. Cause I just pretended that I was really happy. But I think it’s good to tell people like how you’re feeling and express, like, yes, I’m feeling a culture shock.

I’m feeling like I don’t belong. 

Terry: Why do you think it was hard to express that in the first place? Why was it easier to just put a happy face on? 

Beza: I don’t know. 

Terry: Was there fear? 

Beza: There was a little fear, cause I just didn’t want to be like, I was given this opportunity, this big opportunity, that so many people did not get. And I’m over here, like feeling sad, like what’s wrong with you? You know? I felt like that. I just didn’t feel like I had the place to speak or like express it. But I think it’s important to. After a while I learned to. And it just, it felt like a big weight got lifted off my shoulders, which was nice. 

Sarah: Our family had to change because, realistically Beza and Nathan came into a family of six people and we became an eight person family, and we could not be who we were before and they couldn’t be who they were before. And as a result, our family, two families merged together or into a single family and that’s painful process.

Beza: It was stressful for everyone. 

Sarah: Our family, everything changed and two of them changed and they had relied on each other so much in Ethiopia. So that was totally like their unit. And then our six person unit that was really strong. Neither of those units are the same.

It is now a new unit that is an eight person unit. And that process of getting there was hard. 

Beza: It’s like raising a new family from the bottom up. We’re all trying to get to know each other at the same time. It took a lot.

Sarah: Yeah. And there’s stuff, like you’ll notice that Beza still calls us Matt and Sarah because when you’re 16 and she wasn’t adopted, and we were worried about visa issues if she did, cause I had watched this movie when I was a kid that the foster children called their foster parents mom and dad, and were taken out of the house.

Terry: This wasn’t a foster relationship. It was, you were on an extended student visa and you became her guardians.

Sarah: I was worried that if they called us mom and dad, even though their aunts in Ethiopia said make sure you do that, I told them no. I mean, Nathan asked me shortly after they arrived here, can I call you mom and dad? In fact, when I was in Ethiopia, we were talking about whether they were coming or not, that was one of the things that Nathan asked me right away was what are we going to call you? After it was so hard to get the visas, I told them, no. I said, don’t call me mom and dad, because it’s more important that you’re in my life.

Terry: Well, they can call your mom and not dad. 

Beza: Oh, yeah. 

Sarah: Yeah. But it’s more important that you’re in my life, because that movie, in the best interest of the children, did kind of freak me out. But everyone says all the lawyers in there were like, it’s fine. But by then they had already been used to calling us Matt and Sarah.

So now it’s weird. 

Terry: I’m good with grandma if they want to do that. 

Sarah: Yeah, because you are her legal grandma now.

Beza: You know, what’s crazy is like I’ve only had one grandma in my entire life. And like my other grandparents, I never met them cause they all died. Well, I guess I met my dad’s mom, but I was really little.

I think Nathan would agree with me with this too, you guys are literally the best grandparents ever. You guys just  felt like real grandparents. Like it wasn’t even, I think it’s compared to like the other grandparents we have, I guess I never felt the same connection with them. But like whenever we were around you, we were always like excited to come to your house or like have a conversation with you because you guys made us feel so welcome. And so a part of your family.

Sarah: They paid for your flight over here and they were here at the airport.

Beza: And it’s crazy because it’s just like, I remember I lost my grandma after I got here.

I even remember you guys made this cute little basket with a note. It was so amazing. Cause I felt like I lost her, but I also gained two more grandparents that I never had. It was a nice feeling. I think it helped me cope with her death too, to be honest.

Terry: So relationships, I mean, it kind of comes around back circle to that. Relationships can be kinda messy, but they also help us cope. 

Beza: Yes. 

Terry: When we lean on relationships, it can be bette

Sarah: We all leaned on each other, I will say that. I would say one of the secrets to the success of having the strong family that we do, the eight of us.

I’m so excited to take the girls to Ethiopia and have them meet the family. I legally can say I have family in Ethiopia now, which is amazing.

We leaned on each other. 

We all were having a hard time. I would say every single one of us.

But we all leaned on each other and we kept up open communication.

Because even though you would put on a good face with Nathan’s friend, you still would share with me that you were hurting. And we kept open communication. 

That was really good. 

Terry: Yeah. It kind of goes back to that authentic relationships. Authentic just means, you know, transparent, open.

Beza: Yeah, it really helped.

Sarah: We did a lot of self care. I know I slept a lot during that time. I didn’t work at that time. 

Beza: We went to the Dells.

Sarah: We went to the Dells. We did do that. Yes, we did a lot of bonding things a lot more than we do now. We went to the Dells several times, we would go to movies, Chicago.

we still haven’t gone to the children’s museum in st. Louis. I still want to do that. I still want to take the road trip around the United States, which we have never done at all as a family, even when there was only four kids. 

Terry: So thinking back to how you felt when you were 16 and you were going through all the stress of trying to get over here and how you look at it now, how you feel now, would you do it all over again?

If you had a chance? 

Beza: I think I would. I think it was really a growing experience because the person I was on that plane or in that airport getting on the plane, I’m not the  same person. I learned so much about myself so much. Not even just me, about the culture around me that is here because it made me look at my culture where I’m from from a different lens from the American culture. I just opened my eye to like what I was missing and the myths I used to believe. I remember I used to tell you all these crazy things.

Terry: But you got a lot of it from the movies you saw.

What were some of the movies that gave you impression of what the United States were? 

Beza: Oh my gosh. So many movies I watched. All the romantic ones, all the action.

Sarah: A lot of big city stuff. And action. You thought there’d be exploding cars all over the place? 

Beza: I don’t know what I was thinking. 

Terry: You know, you get your impression from the movies and that’s what the movie is, is all about. 

Beza: All the Grey’s anatomy. I watched all the Big Bang Theory. I watch all of them. Like Friends, you know, like the big cities, what you see. But yeah. 

Terry: Oh, that’s funny. 

Sarah: She came from a big city too. 

Beza: So it was an adjustment, coming to Iowa.

Terry: I want to wrap this up. I really want to thank you so much, Beza, for coming and for sharing all of your experience with people.

I’m sure somebody sitting at home, listening to this is going to get a lot out of it. 

Beza, you’re going through the coaching process, the Journey Caching process with someone right now. What’s that experience like for you? 

Beza: I think it’s really interesting, especially about the strengths and the weaknesses and your worldview.

I mean, I think we’re on chapter four. It really opened up my eyes. I remember we worked, like, I never knew what my strengths or my weaknesses were. It was not something I paid attention to.

And I remember when I, when I came to the US, Sarah would always be like, you’re strong in these areas, you’re strong in these areas, these are your strengths, these are your strengths. You should work in your strengths. I remember when I went through it with Leanne, my coach, I was telling her that, and we were filling out the whole strengths and weaknesses thing, and it just opened up my eyes to the things I didn’t know about myself and how they’re connected to my calling in life and everything. And I just think it’s interesting.

I think everyone should try it. It’s really good.

How’s it 

Sarah: different than counseling do you think? Cause you’ve been in both. You’ve seen a counselor and then you’ve also done Journey Coaching. 

Beza: I think it’s more structured. For counseling, you just talk about whatever’s happening in your life.

I guess when I, at least when I go to my counselor, I just fill her in on what’s happening in my life and what it’s causing. If I’m happy or sad, you know. Whereas, this is more like you get the book, each chapter has its own section and each section you work on. So you get the homework, and you reflect on what you did.

It’s eyeopening. And I think it’s interesting. 

Terry: One of the purposes when we were developing the booklet, the purpose was to use the booklet as a way to facilitate a discussion between, you know, people, someone who’s being coached and someone who’s coached. To talk about some of the topics that really aren’t usually talked about. Has that been your experience?

Beza: Yes, actually, there was a time where my coach asked me a question about how, so she was wondering why kids aren’t forming relationships while in college and stuff. Most of the time we would be talking about the strengths and stuff, but like one day she asked me. It wasn’t in the book, but she was asking me about kids and relationships in college cause she was wondering about her personal friend she had. And I was telling her on how the disconnect of like cell phones and how my experience in high school where I would sit at a lunch table, my experience where I would sit at a lunch table and everyone would be on their phones. And for me as an immigrant, not knowing anyone, it was really hard for me to talk to people when they were on their phones. And even in classes in college, I see people before class would start, they would be on their phones. No one is communicating. 

She really was interested in that. And she said she learned something from me. Which I thought was great because I never thought I would be teaching her when she was my coach.

It was like discussions like that. You start talking about, let’s say strengths, weaknesses, whatever the book is, the chapter in the book, but it progresses into something you both are going through and like other issues that you’re wondering about.

Terry: And that’s one of the joys of coaching, you know, if someday when you’re done and you want to go through it, and if you want to coach some others, you really do get a lot from the people that you’re coaching. It’s not a one way street. It goes both directions. There’s so much that each person gets out of the relationship. 

Beza: Yeah. And I thought that was really great. Cause I thought I was being just coached. Like I never thought I had something to give. So it was great.

Sarah: You’d be a good coach for Abby, I think.

I mean, I know that you guys are sisters.

For anybody definitely, but I think you and Abby going through that together, you as her coach, I think that could be really key to Abby’s life. 

Beza: Hey, maybe we should do that one day.

Sarah: When you’re done with yours.

Maybe you do because that’s the goal is that once you’re done, you coach.

Terry: And again, the main topic that we talked about today was about stress and coping with stress, and relationships and how relationships can help us cope.

At Journey we’re really interested in the conversations that matter to you and your relationships.

You want to grow and we want to help not only with podcasts, but we encourage everyone to get involved in one on one coaching relationships. And a good place to start is with a Journey seven session coaching booklet. Ask us how atJourneyCoaching.org.

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