Welcome back to the Journey Podcast! In this episode Sarah, Terry and Jeff answer commonly asked questions from what is coaching to the difference between coaching and counseling.
Transcription of Podcast
Welcome back to the Journey Podcast! In this episode Sarah, Terry and Jeff answer commonly asked questions from what is coaching to the difference between coaching and counseling.
Welcome back to the Journey Podcast! In this episode, Lianne, Terry and Sarah talk about the difference between a coaching friendship and a traditional friendship. They explain how a coaching friendship is structured in nature with intentional goals in mind whereas a traditional friendship is more spontaneous.
Sarah: Welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome back to the Journey podcast. I’m Sarah and I’m here with Terry and Lianne, I’m going to let you introduce this podcast.
Your life, your journey, starts now.
Lianne: So today we have an interesting topic. Journey is all about relationships, and Journey is also about an intentional relationship between a coach and someone else. And so I guess the question would be, what is the difference between a coaching relationship and a friendship relationship?
Terry: I think both of them are really important. They’re both… It’s very important that we have friendship-friendships, friendship kind of relationships. But I think it’s also important at times in our life especially, to have coaching type relationships.
Terry: The difference as I see it is, that a coaching relationship is a little bit more formal. It’s not like a mentoring relationship where there’s a person on the other side of the relationship that’s an expert and there’s kind of a change in the balance of power and that sort of thing. A coaching relationship is more… It’s kind of like an intentional friendship. I think it is something that helps people… There’s an anticipation of some kind of growth versus just two people talking to just have a friendship.
Lianne: Well I think one thing you could say for sure is that the Journey coaching is a structured kind of a situation. So you are having a pretty good quality conversation through it because it is structured and it’s kind of drawing out. Whereas a lot of times in friendship you’re just kind of… Things are happening spontaneously so it has a little bit different purpose and that may be one of the big differences.
Terry: Sure. I think when you talk about structure, I think the goals… Most of the time a coaching relationship has some kind of goals involved. You know, you’re setting the goal of learning more about each other, or you’re setting the goal… In Journey one of the first goals we set is to hear each other’s story or to understand the story that the person is coming in with. So much of what we find out about our own strengths and our own weaknesses and even our own worldview comes from the story our life has made… It’s kind of like each life is a book and the narrative or the story that goes along with what’s gotten us to this place. In coaching, there’s a goal to that, we’re not just telling the story. Our goal is to try to find something out about us that we may not have known before.
Sarah: And with Lianne being my coach, I think that what’s been really… I think what I would say about it being different between friendship and just general coaching is I have a fairly easy time making friends, but I feel like the word that I would describe the coaching situation with Lianne was safe. I felt safe in my relationship with Lianne. It’s kind of like I’m talking behind her back and she’s right here.
Lianne: I’m listening.
Terry: What was it about that relationship with Lianne as your coach that made you feel safe?
Sarah: Well, she was transparent with me. I think she was very nervous because… Was I one of the first people that you… You didn’t feel like… It almost is almost like you didn’t feel equipped to do it.
Lianne: Yeah, I think you’re right. I think I felt like I didn’t know how to do it, but as we went through it, I think I might have called Terry with a question about just one kind of bad habit I felt like I had, which is trying to make people feel like we all have these problems or whatever, you know, I wanted to do that, but that wasn’t really my role. My role was to listen and let you talk. So I think-
Sarah: Well and I really appreciate it because you always seemed embarrassed when you would tell me, “I don’t feel equipped to do this.” It was almost like you were like, “I’m not ready to do this and I don’t know if I’m the best person.” And I was like, “No, I really… I’m happy with this” and everything like that.
Sarah: I think that that transparency really was huge and helpful. And I don’t know if I’d say maybe it’s just my personality, but I think that that’s just life. On one of our other podcasts, we talk about building real relationships and you were really honest and real with me that this is out of my comfort zone and that transparency helped me be more transparent with you.
Sarah: I don’t really have that hard of a time being transparent with people. It made me trust you more because I felt like you would say what you really thought and then I didn’t feel like, “Well what is Lianne really thinking?” because I knew you would… I mean I feel like you would say it, and therefore I felt safe.
Terry: Well and I think that what you bring up, both of you brought up, is really an important piece that we may need to do another podcast on that specific thing of, you know, what if somebody feels like they might want to be a coach but they don’t really know if they’ve got what it takes or they don’t really feel equipped. We can have a whole other conversation or probably several conversations on answering that question.
Terry: I think it’s really neat that the very thing that you thought probably wasn’t going to make you a good coach was the very thing that helped Sarah feels safe in her role, in her relationship with you.
Sarah: And then with the friendship, because it’s been a year now and so Lianne walks in here to podcast, we haven’t really talked very much in the last month or two since really around Christmas time or whatever. I’m just excited to see you again and you walk in and I’m like, “Lianne!” You know, and when you see me you’re like, “Hwy, Sarah!” and I just, I really appreciate that relationship. And the funny thing, what’s really cool about this, regarding the friendship thing, is I knew you for several years because you’re good friends with my parents, and they would always rave about you.
Sarah: It’s no secret that Terry Carlson is my mom and then my dad, Jeff Carlson is not recording with us right now, but he’s here in the room and he’s doing a little dance or whatever.
Sarah: So yeah, but they would rave about you. And it wasn’t until we had that relationship that we started building that relationship… I mean it was just… The relationship that you and I have would not exist if it were not for Journey coaching.
Terry: Well I think you’re kind of blurring the lines. Our topic today is what’s the difference? You’re kind of blurring the line between the two, but I think that’s a really good example of how coaching can become a friendship. You know, we’re not talking about counseling relationship where you have to maintain professional boundaries and all that stuff. Coaching is a much more peer-to-peer kind of a situation. I think it’s beautiful that you and Lianne have built a friendship out of the coaching relationship.
Lianne: I think that’s kind of really an important thing to emphasize, is that working with somebody with the coaching relationship. It’s reassuring to know that you are not expected to be the expert in the room as the coach and that the other person is just as much. It’s, it is very much an even relationship. That is where with even friendships aren’t always that way. So it’s designed specifically to be fairly even, reciprocal kind of a-
Sarah: I would not have had a great, I really don’t think I would have had as good of an experience with Journey if Lianne came across as like a professional.
Terry: Right. I think that’s a good point.
Sarah: Well, what were you going to say though?
Terry: Well, I think the coaches… But the analogy that I was going to use is, and we use the word Journey to describe this type of coaching for a reason.
Terry: It’s like somebody going along… it’s almost like Lianne has been, she took a journey to California and she came back and she said, “Hey Sarah, do you want to go to California? I’ve been there, let me show you how.”
Lianne: Yeah, exactly.
Terry: And it’s not like she’s an expert on California, but at the same time she’s been down the road a little bit. She went through the coaching herself first.
Lianne: So one of the big important distinctions between just a casual friendship and a coaching relationship is the intentionality.
Sarah: Absolutely. I think that’s a really good way to describe it.
Lianne: And I actually felt like that was actually a surprising benefit for me because had I not had that intentional… I guess you can kind of get into friendships where you kind of chatter, you talk about things and that person reminds you of something else you were going to talk about and they have this interesting story. I feel like the intentionality kind of gave me a purpose, had me slow down and then to listen and I just felt like it just is a really high quality conversation that way, don’t you Sarah?
Sarah: I agree. And also another way I would describe this is kind of like the world quieted down for… I knew that we would have that one-on-one time. We went to a lot of coffee shops and restaurants or we’d be at my office where that time was set aside. You were very gracious that you came towards me because we live probably 45 minutes away, 30 minutes away from each other. Time just quieted down and it was dedicated time to just spend time together, think, and process things that have happened in my life, that happened in your life. Moving forward on things, working in our strengths instead of trying to fix all of our weaknesses but working in our strengths and stuff. It was just a really neat time.
Terry: Well, and I think the intentionality is really important because it’s where the intentionality comes in is kind of the goals. I’m not talking about really strict rigid goals, but the goal of coaching is to really facilitate or to encourage growth. If you think about it, I mean you really had, you had some insights into your own leadership skills and stuff by when you went through coaching.
Sarah: Yeah, and that was amazing too because I fought against doing coaching. My parents, you know… My mom’s the one who wrote Journey coaching with Mike. My dad’s the one that’s been pushing this and I thought, “I don’t need to do this. This is just how I was raised.” But I did, even as myself who pushed back against doing it for years, I still learned a lot. I still built a really great relationship with Lianne and it really was very worthwhile, especially as I was going through a lot of changes in my life last year at the same time too. So yeah, it was really good.
Terry: So I think facilitating growth is probably one of the biggest benefits of going through coaching versus just having a friendship.
Sarah: Yeah. And as someone who’s been on a growth, what would you say? Growth mindset, growth projectory, for years. I mean my mom who wrote the book has raised me this way, and it still helped push me forward. I think you never stop moving forward, right? I mean isn’t that the thing, as soon as you stop and you stand in one place, you’re going to go backwards instead of, you know.
Terry: Well, and I think you can even… I think there’s even a benefit. We haven’t actually had anybody to do this yet because Journey isn’t that old of a process. But I think it would be a benefit to maybe 5, 10, 20 years later going through the process again and just seeing how has my story changed, how has my journey changed? What do I want to set as new goals for growth in the future?
Sarah: That’s even long. I would say every year. I mean it’s been a year since I went through it and I’m kind of like, well I mean maybe I should take someone else through it because you kind of go through it at the same time together again. I probably should take someone through it now. I think it’s just… My dad’s over here nodding up and down really heavily or whatever. So-
Terry: One thing we know for sure is that each coaching relationship between a couple people, two couples, whatever, is going to be unique and it’s going to all be dependent on their needs and where they’re at. And so I think-
Sarah: And different personalities too.
Terry: …different personalities, combinations, chemistry, what part of the country are you from probably changes it even, so I would say that the differences… the intentionality we’ve talked about, we’ve talked about the growth. Also, there’s no reason they have to be mutually exclusive because you do develop a pretty good friendship once you realize the things you have in common. You develop a good friendship with the people you coach, that’s a fairly strong possibility.
Sarah: So we should probably wrap up this podcast. Thanks for listening in. Please like and subscribe. You can find us at journeycoaching.org you can also find us on Facebook and Instagram, Spotify, iTunes, and yeah, reach out to us. Give us a holler and tell us your thoughts. Maybe we’ll include your questions on another podcast.
Terry: That’s a great idea.
Sarah: Yeah in the future. So yeah, thanks for listening. We’ll talk to you later, bye.
Thank you for listening. Tune in next time and make sure you like and subscribe. Visit us at journeycoaching.org and check us out on Facebook and Instagram. Start your own journey at journeycoaching.org.
Your life, your journey, starts now.
Welcome back to the Journey Podcast! In this episode Jeff and Sarah explore the topic of what coaching is all about. In this episode they discuss how they got to this point of developing the coaching, what it is and why it’s important.
Welcome back to the Journey Podcast! In this episode, Mike, Terry and Lianne talk about why coaching is beneficial even if your life feels normal or fine. On this episode they discuss how coaching may help those areas of your life that you are not 100% happy.
Lianne: Hello. Welcome back to Journey Coaching. I’m Lianne. I’m here with Terry and Mike. And I have a question, and this is kind of a why coaching question. And it would be that a lot of us are adults and we’re dealing with our life. And especially if we’re fairly comfortable, why would we take the time out to go into introspection to really examine our life when we’re probably all able to handle our lives?
Speaker 2: Your life, your journey starts now.
Terry: Well, I think that’s a really, really good question and probably a common question that somebody listening might ask, “Why bother? Why go into all this?”
Terry: And I guess looking at it from a counseling perspective, because I’m a licensed counselor, I look at it as are you really happy with your life? Are you completely satisfied with the way things are going? There’s nothing else that you look back in your life and you say, “Okay, I’m happy if the rest of my life goes this way when I’m on my death bed.” Will I have any regrets?
Terry: And I think that’s a good question to ask yourself. Some people might actually say, “Nope, I’m good to go.” But I think for most of us, you are going find that there’s some areas in our life that we’re just really not 100% happy with. There’s some parts of our lives where we think, “Wow, I wish I had more friends,” or “I wish I had a different job,” or, “I don’t know.”
Terry: There’s just a lot of areas in our life where we just assume that this is as good as it’s going to get. And what Journey Coaching does is it comes along and says, “But maybe not. Maybe there’s some ways that you can improve your life in some ways.”
Terry: One of the things we try to do is we look at what are your strengths and what are your weaknesses. We have a person start with their story. What’s been going on in my life so far? I think it’s really good to look at our own stories in a way when we tell it to a coach we’re seeing it through our lens, but now we’re also hearing our story through that other person’s lens. And they may ask them questions that make us think about our lives in a different way.
Terry: We’ve got process in the in place where you look at, okay, now here’s your story. What can you identify as strengths out of your story? A lot of times people end up being misaligned where they’re working out of their weaknesses more than they’re working out of their strengths. And looking at it and just asking yourself that question, “Is my life lined up? Is my work? Is my ministry or the different things that I’m doing in life? Am I operating more out of my weaknesses or am I operating more of my strengths? And what can I do about that?”
Terry: And that’s where coaching comes alongside of it. No one’s telling you what to do. It’s more along the lines of, “Hey, have you ever thought about this? Have you ever looked at it from this perspective?” And it’s a value to the person to do that.
Mike: Yeah. And I would jump in and add a couple of things. One is it isn’t just about personal introspection. Life, whether a person believes in God or not, we do come from a perspective that there is a creator that made us and he made us a certain way, and that is in relationship to other people.
Mike: And when you’re doing introspection or thinking about yourself and you’re sharing that with another person, you are meeting a human need to connect with another person. So it isn’t just you sitting in your room by yourself having this personal introspection moment, though that’s part of it so that you have something to share. But journey coaching is about connecting with another human. And your ability to think about your own life and share that with another person in and of itself is fulfilling and healing and human no matter what you believe. That’s a very common experience for everyone.
Mike: So I would just add that I think, Terry, just to add into what you said.
Terry: Yeah, sure.
Lianne: Yeah, and it sounds like it’s all in the name, the journey. And so therefore taking a pause and getting another perspective from somebody else who’s extremely helpful is a good idea.
Lianne: Now, I also wonder, thinking from the perspective of somebody who does have a strong faith, and they may be saying to themselves, “Why not just get up in the morning, pray to be in God’s will, and then go about your day? Why take time out for a Journey Coaching type of experience?”
Mike: Sure. And I think I’m probably going to piggyback now because I gave away my answer. I think the answer applies to whether a person is a Christian or not, but certainly God has clearly created a community of people for himself, not just individuals who worship him. That’s why we don’t have our own churches, every individual one of us. We have a church that we’re a part of.
Mike: And so again, in order for two people to connect, they bring what they’re possibly interacting with God within their prayer closet and they process that with other people. And that’s part of the journey of the church or all of the church walking with that together. And Journey Coaching just says, “Hey, we’re going to find a way for that to at least happen between two people,” because what we find in all sociological studies in the church and outside of the church actually, and I don’t know exactly what these figures are, but it’s between 80 and 90% of people would call themselves lonely or they have nobody to connect with. So it’s not working in the culture or in the church to try to do something alone.
Mike: And this is a simple process where two people connect and start to do life together, whether you don’t know God or whether you do. But we would say in the church for sure, we have to get our people walking with God together, and that’s the crucial part of it.
Terry: One, I think that you brought up a really good point about the loneliness. And when you look at it from the research standpoint, they’re finding more and more issues that are coming up out of loneliness. People who are disconnected end up having higher levels of depression and anxiety. The suicide rate is off the charts.
Terry: And so just realizing how important it is that we do find ways to connect with others is so important mental health wise.
Mike: Yes. Well, and I would even add to it there’s a sense of arrogance to think that me by myself can know everything about myself with no help from anybody else. And that really doesn’t work if anybody’s tried that. And we need each other actually to even understand ourselves. We need each other to even grow in any way. And not that we can’t grow it all by ourselves, but it certainly multiplies the ability to grow when we have people in our life speaking into it and seeing things about us and reflecting things back to us about ourselves.
Mike: So if you truly want to grow, you really need other people inside or outside the church.
Terry: Well, and I think the neat thing about Journey when we look at over the last five years of developing it and piloting it with different individuals and stuff, and we honestly during that time, we haven’t had one person who’s gone through the coaching who said it was a waste of time. Every person, even people who have high degrees and people who’ve gone through different kinds of mentoring programs on their own, there’s something they’ve gotten out of it that they said that they absolutely believed was valuable.
Mike: What was also unique is most people had never done anything like this ever before.
Mike: Which speaks back to the what the studies tell us. We’re lonely.
Mike: We don’t have relationships, a lot of relationships like this in our life. So for people that we are surprised, we think, “Well, they’re going to be bored doing this again.” Certainly, they have all these friends where they’ve told their story to and never before had they told their story like this.
Terry: Right. And we may have talked about this in another podcast. I’m not sure if we have or not. But I just remember when we were sitting around in a coffee shop, mulling over what do we put in the books and how do we put this together and all this stuff, at some point about an hour or two into our conversation, this woman came from another table over and she said, Excuse me.” And we all looked at each other like, “Oh my gosh,” because in a coffee shop there a lot of people who are trying to study and quiet is the important thing.
Terry: And I thought, “Oh, surely she’s going to complain that we were being too noisy or she was going to say something about it.” And you remember what she said?
Mike: She was so excited about what we were talking about, what we were doing.
Terry: She said, “This is so necessary.” She said, “I wish it was in my church. I wish there was something going on locally where I could do this.” She said, “It is so needed.”
Terry: And so that was just really encouraging.
Lianne: Well, thank you, Mike and Terry, for that great conversation and thank you for joining us and see you next time in Journey.
Speaker 5: Thank you for listening. Tune in next time and make sure you like and subscribe. Visit us at JourneyCoaching.org and check us out on Facebook and Instagram. Start your own journey at JourneyCoaching.org
Speaker 2: Your life, your journey starts now.
Welcome back to the Journey Podcast! In this episode, Lianne and Sarah discuss why you might want to go through Journey Coaching.
Sarah: So we’re back with Journey Coaching. This is Sarah Banowetz and I have Lianne Wescott here. And today’s topic is,… Lianne, why don’t you introduce today’s topic?
Lianne: Why would you want to go through Journey Coaching?
♪ Your life ♪ ♪ Your journey ♪ ♪ Starts now ♪ ♪ Ba da ba da ♪
Sarah: Ba da boom. That’s a drumroll. Deep questions. So what do you think about that, Lianne?
Lianne: Well, I feel like one of the reasons that I went through it was to just kind of hone in, like, what are some of the things that I can contribute, that I can do, spend my time doing that only I can do? Contributing to the world, making the world a little bit of a better place. Fitting in the things that I’m naturally good at or that I naturally am drawn to, do more of them and stop doing some of the things that maybe are not a good use of time anymore. I feel like each person probably has their own unique thing that they are meant to do, that is their purpose, that only they can do and a lot of people don’t even know that.
Sarah: Yeah, it’s like working in your strengths, instead of your, that was one of the big takeaways for me, I’ve mentioned before, is. What was that part in Journey where it talked about, like how, if you try to work on your weaknesses to make them better, you’re only going to go so
Lianne: Well, let’s imagine that you’re an eight out of ten in some strength that you have. Very high, way up over the 50% line. And then let’s say that there’s something where you’re at 40%, under the 50% line. If you work, and you work, and you work, you can improve yourself maybe 4%. So now you’ve just gone from, or 5%, let’s say. And now you’ve just gone from an 80 to an 85, at your strength, but you’re not even to the 50% line on your weakness. So it really is a better use of your time just to go with your strengths, do the things you’re good at, and not spend a lot of time trying to correct things that are
Lianne: Right, so yeah, for looking around and trying to see what other people are doing, it’s better just to maybe sit down and do the coaching. And then, people, maybe that person’s reflecting back to you some things that you hadn’t thought about. Like, I’m really good at those things, maybe I can apply ’em in this way or do that? So, aside from relationship building, I think that’s my number one purpose that I’ve found in the Journey Coaching.
Sarah: Lianne, what might be another reason why someone might wanna, would wanna do coaching?
Sarah: Oh yeah, that’s next in the thought too, is, you know, the relationship building and.
Lianne: Mhmm, so anyway, but I feel like for me the number one reason is just, you know, finding that purpose, finding a little bit of focus. And for
Sarah: Well, and I do want to revisit the fact that, Lianne, you were both coached and you coached. So you were a coach and you were also a coachee, is that the right?
Lianne: I think that’s a good term, we’ll go with that one.
Sarah: So you were coached first before you became a coach?
Lianne: Yes, my husband and I went through it with Jeff and Teri, and they call us the guinea pigs. We were kind of early on but it was a good experience for me and I’ve enjoyed coaching a few other people, including you, Sarah.
Sarah: And so that’s another good point because when I, when you coached me, it was just you and me, but when you were coached, it was you and your husband, so it was two coaching two.
Lianne: Yeah, yes.
Sarah: So, and how is that different? So, not to like, let anything that you talked about out, but how is, is there much of a change between two people coaching two people and one person coaching one person?
Lianne: Well it doubles the amount of answers that you have.
Sarah: Or is it longer?
Lianne: You have to be a little more efficient. It was kind of fun to not try to answer
Sarah: Yeah, depending on different personalities and people.
Lianne: Right. So.
Sarah: Well, it was good to talk with you Lianne.
Lianne: Yeah, I enjoyed that very much.
Sarah: Yeah, so we, stayed tuned for the next podcast, the next Journey podcast when we talk more about these topics about coaching, and life, and strengths, and working in your strengths, and everything else that Journey is all about. So stay tuned for the next one, bye.
Narrator: Thank you for listening. Tune in next time and make sure you like and subscribe. Visit us at JourneyCoaching.org and check us out on Facebook and Instagram. Start your own journey at JourneyCoaching.org.
♪Your life ♪ ♪ Your journey ♪ ♪ Starts now ♪ ♪ Ba da ba da ♪
Welcome back to the Journey Coaching podcast! In this episode, David, Terry and Sarah talk about what Journey Coaching is all about.
Terry: Welcome to the Journey Podcast. I’m Terry, and today we have David and Sarah. For our topic today, what I thought would be interesting is if we … There’s so many people out there that, or would maybe consider coaching, maybe consider having somebody come alongside them and coach them. What would you tell them? What kind of things could you say to them to help them understand what it’s about?
♪ Your life ♪ ♪ Your journey ♪ ♪ Starts now ♪ ♪ Ba da ba da ♪
Terry: Sarah, do you have any ideas?
Sarah: I would say that it’s about friendship and just being … having relationships with people. Not being scared of going outside of your comfort zone and just making friends with people. Yesterday, I was talking with … I have a marketing business and I was talking with a business owner and we were talking about networking, not directly, but just indirectly about who we … I don’t know how to say this but, I think we tend to … We were talking about networking with other marketing people and I was like, I don’t really try to network with marketing people. I mean, it would be easy to do because I’m in marketing, but I try to network with business owners which is my target audience or whatever, I guess.
Sarah: I think it’s about friendship and about building relationships with people both on either side of it, whether you are the one that is being coached, or you are the coach. Either position is a difficult and outside of the box, scary position. We tend to gravitate to people who are like us, so we network. I mean, there’s a lot of people don’t like the word network, but that’s what essentially it is, is as adults we network with people naturally and we tend to network with people that we’re like. So like, for example, if you are like my … I’m in marketing, so a lot of marketing people will hang out together and they’ll do stuff together and it’s harder to get outside of your comfort zone and start networking with business owners who might actually be interested in your services.
Terry: Let me try this. Both you and David, both you, Sarah and David, were coached. What was that like for you when you first sat down with someone and started talking about your story?
Sarah: When I first sat down it was nice and easy, but it took several years to get to that point because I didn’t want to do it at first.
Terry: Can you get kind of get back into what that was?
Sarah: Well, for one reason and this probably wouldn’t resonate with a lot of people, but I already have a counselor. I’ve been seeing a counselor for five years, ever since I started traveling to Ethiopia, and it’s really helped me. There’s a bible verse that says, “For a lack of counselors … for a lack of counsel, plans fail.” And I really found that having, I mean, really that’s talking about, it doesn’t have to be a professional counselor, but I found that in my situation that’s one of the many voices of counsel in my life is my paid counselor. I started [inaudible 00:03:16] anxiety and stuff and it’s worked really well, and so I didn’t want to do coaching because I had felt like I used my counselor as a coach. I feel like I’ve been able to do a lot of big things in my life because I’ve had this counselor that I see. So I thought, oh, I don’t need coaching because I’m already doing it.
Sarah: But then, I did do both at the same exact time so it was this spring when I started doing coaching with [Leann 00:03:43] who you guys have heard on the podcast before. And so I was doing counseling and I did both at the same exact time and I will say that it wasn’t a waste. It was very much about building relationships. I became friends with Leann, I still had my counselor, and they’re different people. It really helped. I was starting my third business, my marketing company, at the same exact time that I was both getting counseled regularly and also doing coaching. It was just nice to have that … it felt like a … both feel like a breath of fresh air. Especially if you have someone who’s kind and encouraging. Both Susan and Leann are.
Terry: David, you’ve coached people before informally, a lot, and being a pastor and so on. What was it like for you to then say, to agree, yeah, okay, I’ll be coached?
David: Oh, I was excited about it because it’s … One, it was a friend. Coaching begins with friendship and Jeff was my friend and when he came and said, “Hey, we’re thinking about doing this and that, would you mind sitting down and can we go through some things together?” Hey, it meant I got time to spend time with my friend. Then as we began to go into the topic, we now also have a topic that we’re both very interested in.
David: For me then to start out by telling my story to him and then Jeff told me his story, and the journey was off and running. I just think it’s very, very fun to do something where you’re learning about yourself and others are … And you’re learning about somebody else at the same time. Sometimes we don’t want to get to know ourselves.
Terry: For either one of you, was there any kind of insight that you guys gained from being coached that you wouldn’t have [inaudible 00:05:29] you didn’t get from other sources?
David: I think one of the things was … usually when we think of coaching, we think of it in a negative way. Here’s the way you can strengthen this, improve that. When in reality, lot of this coaching in the time with Jeff, really became a time when we would talk about things that were my strengths. And they may not even be strengths that I even recognized or thought they were even strengths. And yet, Jeff would say, “Yes, it is.” And the other person that we were with in our group, it was very, very encouraging. I look forward to it every time we can get together.
Sarah: That was the same for me too. That’s funny that you say that. I don’t know if it just comes across. I don’t know how many other people ’cause, you know … My biggest takeaway was the strengths too, was working in your strengths instead of trying to improve your weaknesses. Now, that’s not to say that there aren’t things that we need to fix in our lives, by any means, but it did mean you work in your strengths. And I have, as a result of that, seen a huge change in my life in the last 6 months or so since I did the coaching with Leann because of that, because I made decisions. We talked about world view on the podcast one time. I make decisions based off this world view that God loves me and that he’s taking care of me, and that he created me, with good things in mind. To walk in those God given strengths and the reaction that I get from people in walking in those strengths is amazing. Instead of trying to be like someone else, or [crosstalk 00:07:10]
Terry: Who you are.
Sarah: Yeah. Being who I am and then really diving deep in that. And as I said, I was starting a business at the time, so when you’re starting a business and it’s a made from scratch business, not a franchise or anything like that, or someone else’s business, you’re creating a business from scratch. You get to sit there and it’s like a blank canvass. You get to decide what kind of business you’re going to have, what kind of offerings you’re going to have. And to choose to make intentional decisions about your business and what it’s going to look like based off of your strengths, instead of what you think that you should be?
Terry: One of the things I’ve watched you do with your strengths is that you’ve recognized, okay, I have these strengths. For some reason when we have … when we know what our strengths are, we’re more able to handle our weaknesses.Our topic today is on what would people get out of this. In other words, what would people expect to get from Journey Coaching, and so one of the things you’re saying, you both were saying, is you got a better chance to know yourself, and you got a better chance to understand your strengths. What else would you say that people would get out of Journey Coaching?
David: Definitely friendship. Yup. You get to know people.
Terry: In both cases, you felt like the friendship grew?
David: Yup. ‘Cause there are levels of friendship. At least it’s the way I operate in my life that there’s levels of friendship. Number one is if you just say hi to people. Number two is if you just talk about subjects and things you like. Number three is, hey, here’s my convictions or my opinions on this. In other words, those are my convictions. But when you can get into Journey and now you can begin to get beyond just the factual and cliché type things and get down to, here’s what really makes sense to me, or this is what touches me, and to share that with somebody else and to find that they’re interested, that just makes Journey Coaching just phenomenal.
Sarah: And it’s so not … Our culture does not do this. Our American culture, we do not get close to people like this and to intentionally do it, it’s outside of our comfort zone, but it’s really good. Then … There was one more point that I was going to bring up too, besides friendship, was … Oh, a chance to talk about these things that we’re all thinking and that we all struggle with and we don’t know who to talk to about. So, deep topics that you wanted to have someone to talk to about, but you don’t feel like you can go to a friend of yours, like a good work friend or whatever, and feel like, hey, can I really talk to you about worldview? Can I really talk to you about my hopes and dreams and what I should do for next steps? You can do that in coaching.
David: And you trust that person and you develop that relationship.
Sarah: And I’m really struggling with this concept. Like, hey, you know what? I go to church every Sunday, but I’m really struggling with the idea of who God is. Who can you talk to about that in real life? I don’t know I’m making a huge generalization here, but we as Americans don’t have those conversations and we give it a chance, but that’s a whole other topic for another time. We should probably wrap for today.
Terry: I think also, as we’re wrapping up, ’cause I think this has been a really good conversation, I think for another topic that we need to get into at some point is also we’ve been talking a lot about strength but we also have a section … There’s a week or a section in there on weaknesses, and what does that look like. Some people go into that one with dread and …
Sarah: That was a hard one. That was a heavy chapter.
Terry: And then so, talking about … maybe we need to have another session where we talk about what are we looking for in weaknesses and why is it important to go there. But for now, I think we’ll wrap this up and we’ll do that at another time.
Terry: Okay? Thank you very much.
David: See you.
Narrator: Thank you for listening. Tune in next time and make sure you like and subscribe. Visit us at journeycoaching.org and check us out on Facebook and Instagram.
Start your own journey at journeycoaching.org.
In this episode, we will discuss what ‘worldview’ is, and how we use worldview in the Journey Coaching curriculum. We also discuss how everyone has some type of view of the world.
Sarah: Welcome to the Journey podcast. I’m Sarah, and I have Mike, and David, and Terry here, and our topic today is coming straight from the Journey Workbook.
♪ Your life ♪ ♪ Your journey ♪ ♪ Starts now ♪ ♪ Ba da ba da ♪
Sarah: I’m going to read a little bit of this. “Journey coaching was developed from a Christian perspective. To participate you don’t need to follow those beliefs. But throughout the material you will have an opportunity to compare your personal philosophy or worldview with a basic understanding of the healthy Christian point of view. That perspective which teaches us to serve everyone, love everyone, and care for everyone. Everyone regardless of their worldview was modeled by Jesus.” So that’s what we’re talking about today with The Journey podcast. Who wants to start here? I’m just going to draw a number. I’m just going to pick.
Mike: Pick number four.
Sarah: Yes, Mike, you’re up. Mike, you’ve got the mic. That’s the second time I’ve said that. It’s going to get old.
Mike: I think that this is an important topic because we could be easily misunderstood here. And that’s a concern that we all have. We love Christians, and we love those who have not come to believe in Jesus yet. But those who have not come to believe in Jesus yet, we want to introduce them to Jesus. The leading edge of this is to help people regardless as you or as you heard there, we’re helping people understand their strengths, we’re helping people understand their weaknesses and their worldview, but while they’re doing that, we’re helping them understand the Christian worldview. So it is a great benefit just to help people move forward in life. And if we serve them in that way, we have great joy in that because Jesus did that.
Sarah: Mike, can you explain worldview a little bit?
Mike: I sure can. A worldview is the way that a person answers kind of the big questions, where did I come from, why am I here, what is my purpose. So people have ways of thinking about what their purpose is, why they’re here, what they’re doing, where they came from, and that shapes kind of how they think about their world and how they make decisions every day.
Sarah: And everyone has a worldview, right? We all have a worldview.
Terry: We all have some kind of a worldview. And I think that worldview tends to become the lens by which we look at everything, how we see. If we believe that we were just made by accident, that’s the lens by which we see all the things that happened around us.
Mike: And it is a huge service. I think a lot of people walk around and they don’t, they haven’t summarized, they don’t understand what their worldview is. They make decisions. Everybody makes decisions out of a worldview, whether they know what it is or not, and we want to help them articulate it and we want to help them understand what a Christian one is.
Sarah: What’s the benefit then of articulating, knowing your worldview? Because you have it. Why will that benefit your life if you know what it is, if you bring it to the forefront of your brain? David, you might be able to answer this one?
David: Well, it could too, right. Worldview, I taught a class for seven and eighth graders one year on worldview. And talk about worldview. Seven and eighth graders have got some phenomenal worldviews and the way they see the world around them and their world that they’re in. But I think there’s a difference between the word culture and a worldview. So often we try to bring people to a point where sometimes they think we’re talking about culture. You’re an American. You must be talking about this or that. When in reality the worldview has to do with who Jesus Christ is and his perspective in the world and beginning to adapt our worldview to his view.
Terry: Well, I think you’re right. I think there is a … There’s a bleed over in the way culture is and worldview though. I mean, I believe sometimes our culture is part of our worldview, but you’re right, it’s not an either or.
David: Right, it can be a blend. But for some people, they don’t want, especially if it’s a Christian culture to come into … or the Christian worldview, they don’t want that to come into their culture. They try to keep them separated. But it’s just interesting to live around people, especially Iowa city where there’s such a huge blend of worldviews, and so all over the place.
Terry: Right, because you’ve got people coming in from all over the world into the university, correct. When you think about worldview too, I think one of the things that I think about from a counseling perspective, we often talk to people about their core beliefs, what are your core beliefs, because those core beliefs become a filter to what you, how you see the world. If you have a core belief, an underlying belief that I’m capable and I’m confident and I can do the things I want to do, you’re going to set out and do more things. If you have a core belief that says I’m worthless, and some people do have that core belief that I’m worthless, then that filter is a lot of the things, getting a job, they may not try for certain jobs because they don’t feel like they can get it. Our worldview kind of encompasses part of that too, who do we believe that we are.
Mike: And when you’re disconnected from that, you’re making decisions and you don’t know why you are. And you may think that you’re walking down a path the way thinking that it’s being driven by one thing, when really it’s being driven by another. I’ve had people that I’ve sat down with who’ve said, “I believe I want to go this direction, but I believe x,” and x leads a different direction, and they don’t see the disconnect. If you’re a Christian out there, that happens very often because the bible teaches us certain kind of worldview, yet you’re making a decision. I’ll sit down with someone and say, “This decision is actually based on a different worldview,” and they actually don’t even know it. If you don’t know what your worldview is, you can live in or you can think you’re doing one thing and live inconsistently with it. That’s really important to have that connection.
Terry: There are a lot of people out there who believe that they have a Christian worldview, but yeah, when you really get down to look at it and analyze it, a lot of their worldview is coming from secular areas, it’s coming from just other places growing up.
Mike: For sure.
David: Yeah, I found that a lot of people have their worldviews from religions. Their church teaches them this or that. And so then they try to become what the church is dictating in their lives, this is what it means to be a Christian. When in reality we need to have a biblical worldview. What does the bible say? Who does Jesus say when he says, “I am the way, the truth, the life,” what is that life? It’s not just a religious that he is the savior, but he also comes with a type of life and a culture and a worldview that we need to then become an imitator of, and that’s what he talks about in becoming a disciple, is that you become, and that’s why that word Jesus comes from, a little Jesus. Well how do you make your worldview similar to who Jesus is?
Mike: Yeah, and the difficulty is carrying out, living out something that you don’t understand, you can’t do that. So the reason why it’s so important for us to come from a Christian perspective it’s because we believe that God ordered the world to work in a certain way, and the best and happiest way to live is outside of that worldview. We want people to know that worldview, not so that they are constrained by our rules, but so they’re set free to live the way God designed them to live. We don’t apologize from coming from a Christian perspective because we believe that is what’s best for everyone and not constraining but it’s freeing.
Sarah: Can you give an example of that Mike?
Mike: Yeah. I think when you’re trying to move, when you’re trying to make a decision in life that is guided by a certain principle, so if you truly are trying to connect with this is what I believe, this is what comes from a Christian perspective, and then this is what I’m trying to do, if you don’t, if you’re connected with that piece …
David: Talking about a worldview, as we’re talking about it, this verse comes to mind. “For God so loved the world.” Talk about a worldview. He looked at the world past, present, and future, and people, not as a creation and as a material thing, but as us as people.
Terry: And we’re not always lovable.
David: No, but yet for God so loved. And that word loved is the deepest, most radical, fantastic love in the world, and that’s the way he looks at us.
Sarah: And so when someone is living inside that worldview, and entering the … interacting with people with that worldview on their brain and their heart, what happens?
David: You end up seeing that you want to help people get to know who Jesus is and see his view of things and how he loves them, rather than trying to manipulate or to change or direct, coach even, and there might be a wrong term, in the wrong direction. You want to make sure that they are moving towards who Jesus is. I think that’s what we’re here doing and coaching. It’s not about us or about a Christian philosophy or our worldview. It’s about what is Jesus’ worldview, how does he see it? What’s his plan for us? It’s interesting, God, Jesus has a plan for everyone of our lives, if we’ll follow it.
Mike: Thank you David. That was actually a great example. But the one that’s been on my heart probably for six months is something like marriage. Worldview that says the goal of finding a partner is somebody who can satisfy me. That’s what the culture says. That’s what a worldview. I’m looking for a mate that meets my needs. In the end will backfire on you because it’s built on selfishness which is the opposite of what God designed marriage to be [crosstalk]
Terry: Well, yeah, and the other person is going into marriage for the same reason.
Terry: And both people are standing there, trying to expect the other person to meet their needs.
Mike: Absolutely. That worldview is destructive. God created a mechanism or a worldview around how that’s supposed to work that actually will be beautiful and work for people and give them a happy life. When two people die to themselves and give their life for the other and they’re both doing that for each other, they will get their needs met, versus trying to take what they want from the other person will just irritate that person and turn into this spiral. So that’s-
Terry: That is a great example-
Mike: … probably the most common way where worldview gets people in trouble if they get it from the culture versus if they get it from the bible, from a Christian worldview.
Terry: I think there’s a lot of those kind of examples we could use at different times. But I think that’s a really good example.
Sarah: And I think that we are done for today. And next time …
David: Wow, this is going to be good.
Mike: Thanks for giving me time for that. Sarah, you were great in this.
Sarah: So keep listening to The Journey podcast and we’ll talk to you later. Bye.
Announcer: Thank you for listening. Tune in next time and make sure you like and subscribe. Visit us at journeycoaching.org and check us out on Facebook and Instagram.
Start your own journey at journeycoaching.org.